當你撞見男友跟來路不明的女人在車裡共乘,你會怎麼做?推特網友@vickto_willy為大家展示了一個超哈扣的做法,那就是躲進男友車子的後車廂,並將現場最新情況用推特即時發文告訴大家!
WHEN U CATCH UR NIGGA CHEATING WITH A BITCH! HE PACKED HIS SHIT TO LEAVE ME FOR THIS HOE BUT IM IN THE TRUNK pic.twitter.com/HBtwUWmLsm
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 16, 2016
「這是上週五晚上發生的,但禮拜四晚上我男人開始神遊就悄悄開始了。這個月是我生日所以禮拜四晚上我跟姊妹們出門就像這樣」
1.) This happened last Friday night. But the drama lowkey started on Thursday night when my nigga 1st started tripping ??
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「一切都很好直到我禮拜四出門那天。我出門前一小時就傳簡訊給他,所我很確定只有我跟姊妹們出門,他沒有要出去。他甚至連訊息都沒打開來看*因為沒有已讀*他知道我不會亂來」
7. Everything was cool til I went out Thursday. So I texted him like a hour before we went out, right when I was sure we was going & he aint
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「但我們根本不鳥因為我們看起來已經準備玩嗨了。我們就像泰勒絲的〈Juvenile〉MV一樣搖屁股。現在我玩嗨了,直到他打給我我才想起他還沒讀訊息。」
12. but we dont give a fuck cause we lookin good & feeling ourselves. We shaking our asses to Taylor Swift like we in a Juvenile music video
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我很清楚這傢伙根本聽不到我講話因為這裡音樂太大聲,所以我掛了電話傳訊息告訴他『等我離開再打給你』然後他回訊息說『給我接電話不然我們就玩完了。我被搞糊塗了,我覺得這傢伙…」
14. damn well he can’t hear me over the music & vice versa. So I hang up & text him like “Ima call u when we get out” he text me back like
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「…根本就是『噢妳一定是跟哪個男人在一起所以不理我。』但沒關係我一定會用FaceTime打到妳死。我光看訊息就已經可以想像他在扭曲哀號了所以我回『別鬧了等我要回家再打給你』
19. “Oh u must be ignoring me for whatever nigga u with. But it’s cool, keep ignoring me and Ima FaceTime u till yo phone die”‘now I’m
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「他一整晚鬧到我朋友都開始討厭他了。她們都說:『去他的啦,妳看起來糟透了,別讓他給你壓力』她們說我應該放手讓他走。她們從我們在一起第一天就這麼說了。」
21. off for the whole night and my homegirls already don’t like him. These hoes in my ear like “gurl fuck him, u look bad af! don’t let him
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「這些都是談感情都會有的插曲啦但我都快忘了他浪漫的那一面了,但我還是會像這樣被他的笨笨的樣子吸引。後來我回到家他不在,打給他他也不接。我累了只好先睡。星期五一早…」
26. So I get home and call him but he don’t pick up. I’m tired and sleepy so I say fuck it and take my drunk ass to sleep; Friday morning, I
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我一起床就拿手機看。他X的一通訊息都沒給我。我已經準備好醒來發現收到一堆道歉訊息了,所以我現在超不爽。但我得去上課所以請前晚的其中一個女性朋友來載我。」
28. u kno I’m pissed this nigga ain’t even send not a thing. But I get ready for class anyway and ride wit one of my homegirls from the
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我們就叫她”Jay”吧,總之Jay開始說昨晚我男人多誇張,跟我講一些我已經知道的事。當我漸漸開始左耳進右耳出,一聽到她說『他會變這樣一定是因為在外面偷玩女人』我就瞬間清醒。」
30. me stuff I already kno. I’m lowkey zoning her out until I heard her say “chile he prolly trippin cause he doing sum shit on the side”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我開始認真聽,她說『當男人做壞事時都喜歡改寫劇本讓女方變成壞人」我聽到這馬上打斷她,說他沒那麼下流啦,開往學校的一路上我們都不發一語。」
32. something.” So I cut her off mid conspiracy like nah he know better and we rode in silence all the way to campus. But she ain’t have to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「她想知道他要再過多久才會打給我,所以我下課跟Jay一起回家喝茶,然後Jay接到一通我不認識的女生朋友Katie的電話,她開擴音」
36. then Jay get a call from HER homegirl, not a mutual. So she put it on speaker & her homegirl, lets call her “Katie” is on the line askin
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「結果她是要跟Jay問作業和筆記,Jay把電話關靜音跟我說這傢伙根本不去上課,她要回家傳給她筆記了。從這一刻開始一切都變瘋狂了,我也開始覺得很混亂…」
38. give her my notes.” So I’m like girl u good and Jay take Katie off of mute. Here’s where it gets crazy and I start to feel crazy ?
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「因為我記得Katie在電話那頭對另一個人說『你真幸運』,那個人回『謝啦』…為何我花了0.89秒才發現那是我男友的聲音。但在我反應過來前Jay就跟Katie說她到家會再回撥電話。」
40. it took me .89 seconds to realize that niggas voice was MY niggas voice. But before I could react Jay had told Katie she was gona call
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「雖然他才講兩個字但我已經知道我男人在搞什麼鬼了。Jay掛了電話看著我問我怎麼了,因為我已經開始換氣過度 (我有氣喘)」
42. Jay hung up & lookd at me like “what’s wrong” cause Im damn near hyperventilating(I got asthma) over my epiphany pic.twitter.com/EC21iTjY3x
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我的手掌開始冒汗,胃裡有種我正在做雲霄飛車的感覺。你知道當你身體發現有事情不對勁但你的腦子還不敢相信的那種感覺。Jay現在對著我的臉大喊『Victoria你他X的到底怎麼了』」
44. when yo body kno something aint right even if yo mind don’t believe it. I felt that. Now Jay n my face screaming “Victoria wtf going on”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我只是搖頭說『你都沒聽到Z (我男人) 說話嗎』然後告訴他我聽到了什麼。Jay說『你真的為他想太多了!他一定會回家的!」但我現在沒空跟這個單身婊子爭執所以我假裝他是對的」
46. going crazy over him! He all the way back home?!” But I don’t got time to argue with a single hoe so I pretend she right & let her ass
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「然後讓她回家,所以我可以叫我的姊妹幫幫忙。我打給Bri (我的左右手),她10分鐘後就到了。」
47. go home so I can call my right hand bitch to help me figure it out. So I call up Bri(my right hand) & she pull up 10min later
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我們一起做身家調查,發現那女的是佛羅里達州立大學高年級生,7年才讀完4年的學業,酷。總之我打給Z想看他會不會接結果才響一通就接起了。」
50.Anyway lemme stop throwing shade?..so I call Z to see if he pick up now that I know he been lying & this nigga picks up on the 1st ring
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「但我盡量維持冷靜,這傢伙也用一派輕鬆口氣說什麼『今天還好嗎?』我必須花很大力氣才沒當場揭穿他,我裝作沒事語氣問『你在幹嘛?為何沒打給我?』」
52. taking everything in me to not go off on him so I act normal then say “what u doing? why u ain’t call me?”. This nigga talking bout “I
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「他說我以為我已經有傳訊息給你了,等等,喔對不起我忘了寄出。我整天都在幫我媽的忙…布拉布拉之類的,他簡直是從魔術師的帽子裡拉出了一長串謊言嘛。我邊聽著電話邊看著Bri比手畫腳要我冷靜,但我已經不爽到了極點。」
54. pullin lies out like a magician hat?. The whole time Im on the phone Bri signaling for me to relax, I was pissed pic.twitter.com/eZC9WoRoNZ
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我掛電話後跟Bri坐在那一會兒,想著我要像這樣處理這件事。然後我說『去他的,你車裡還有油嗎?既然他這麼自以為,我想突襲他!』Bri說『好耶我等你說這句話很久了,我已經準備好了!』」
56. Then I say “fuck this. U got gas in ur car? I wanna pop up on him since he think he slick!” Bri said “hell yeah I been waiting for u to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我們就上了她的車然後開往Katie的住處。我們已經查到了她的地址所以就直接飆過去了。」
57. say that! Cause u know Im ready!” So we get n her car & head to Katie apmt. Remember we done already found her address so we speed there
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「到達後Bri告訴我『你一定要逮個正著,別讓那混蛋看到你在外面』我說『該怎麼做呢?教我』我們靠近他停在屋外的車,這時我已經開始預想各種邪惡的犯罪手法了,像是:」
62. so we walk up to his little car and y’all I swear I was thinking of some evil crimes to commit like pic.twitter.com/3dp0i1Hb1k
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「然後事情發生了。我的屁股永遠都記得,他總是不會鎖上副駕駛座的車門,因為那是那台車唯一不會自動鎖上的門,而且他兜懶得伸手過去鎖。我就叫Bri先去告訴他我已經知道所有事情了。」
64. automatically & he be too lazy to reach over & lock it hisself. So I tell Bri to call him & tell him I know everything. While she doin
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我就打開副駕駛座車門,然後從裡面打開後車廂,接著我就這樣進入後車廂了!Bri在外面看傻了,但我沒時間鳥她了因為這是唯一讓那男人出奇不意的方式!」
66. but idgaf how she feel cause I already told myself this the only way to get his ass off guard! I tell her “Im finna pop up on his ass”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「她幫我把後車箱稍微打開露一點縫隙,這樣我就能抓著車廂門讓它不要完全關上。我把手機開震動,叫她一看到他出門就傳訊息給我。我在裡面整整待了20分鐘她才傳來『婊子啊他出來了但他不是一個人!」
68. her to text me when he come out. I was in there chillin for almost 20min when she text me “BITCH HE COMIN BUT HE NOT ALONE”! Now I’m in
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我在後車廂裡想著對啊他已經讓我夠難看了。但如果這婊子想要一起來,她就要有心理準備!」
69. the trunk like oh yeah he really got me fucked up. But if this hoe wanna ride along, she betta be prepared to ride along FOREVA
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我在後車廂開始隨著前座的音樂擺動然後一邊戰戰兢兢想像如果接下來被發現了會發生甚麼事。我不是說被Z抓到,我是說被警察抓。」
72. get caught in the trunk. Im not talking bout getting caught by Z either, Im talking by the police ? so if u wondering if it’s illegal to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「你一定在想難道自願把自己綁架進後車廂難道也違法嗎?沒錯,也違法。我在後車廂裡估狗得知的,然後我的屁股嚇得開始顫抖,希望這傢伙不要被攔檢。我緊緊抓住車門,緊到因此弄斷了一截指甲。」
74. like I hope this nigga don’t get stopped. Man I was holding that trunk so tight, I even broke a nail trying to keep it from flying open
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「車突然一停,我就像你看到的那段影片裡跳了出來撞到窗戶,我基本上對那女的說『你別想走開,現在剩我、你還有他」他們倆看到這幕開始笑了起來。」
80. & I basically said “nigga ain’t no leaving me, now it’s ME, U, & HIM” now the both of them started laughing so I’m standing like Z u
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「我說Z你最好告訴新女友這不是場兒戲喔,他們倆還是持續在笑,笑到我不爽到骨子裡了他還沒像我想像的那樣開車逃逸。我站在那一副『你們到底在笑三洨啦』他們笑得很誇張」
82. my ass like I expected him to.Now Im standing there like “why y’all still laughing” cause they cracking up like pic.twitter.com/Bx7dul61we
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「等我終於看清楚這女的臉才發現…她不素偶在Instagram上看到的女生啊。這婊子根本不是Katie!算了我現在頭好痛,嘴巴乾燥到像是吃了很多棉花。我還差0.5秒就要抽打他們屁股了。」
84. Now I’m done my head hurt, my mouth dry like I been chewing cotton & Im .5 seconds away from whooping everybody ass. y’all remember
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「你還記得我的左右手Bri吧?那婊子從頭到尾跟著我們,換作是我我也會為她這麼做…當你玩完時你會說你玩完了,這時他們會說一切一你而定對吧,所以這時我就走向Bri停在路邊的車」
86. completely done w/ somebody & just when u say u done forreal, that’s when they try to make it up to u? Yeah so I start walking to Bri
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「Z竟然還有膽走出車來抓住我的手臂說『你這小壞壞聽我解釋』我說『你本來有機會跟我解釋的但你只忙著跟那婊子一起笑,我受夠你了Z』
88. Vick.” Im like “nigga no, u had hella time to explain back there but u was 2 busy laughing it up wit that hoe, Im done with the shit Z”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「我接著進了Bri的車一起開走了,結果你知道嗎那傢伙一通電話都沒打給我!我們離開的路上我告訴Bri『他就要打給我了』結果一通也沒,到周末結束前那傢伙一通電話都沒打。」
90. “yeah bitch, he boutta call me right now.” nope not at all, nigga ain’t even hit me until until the weekend was over. Y’all see that
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「後來Z才傳來訊息說『我可以去找你嗎?』我故作鎮定說可以,當他終於出現時我有一整個PPT檔案的問題要問他,我劈頭就問『他X的為何過了2天才聯絡我還有別騙我喔你知道我會殺人喔』
project &PowerPoint of questions &my presentation began w/ “WHY TF IT TOOK U 2 WHOLE DAYS TO CONTACT ME & DONT LIE CAUSE U KNO IM CRAZY”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「這就是故事的尾聲,因為我不想坐在這告訴你們我跟那賤男人分手了或我們又快樂地復合了或他受夠了我的胡鬧行為了因為我們都知道跟你所愛的人在一起任何事都有可能發生。」
or that he done wit my shenanigans cause we all kno when it come down to that person u love*attached to* anything bound to happen.
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
來源:The Lad Bible
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